New Blog... Same Brand... Fresh Start!

It's been a moment or two since I had a blog. And in that moment or two, a lot of life has happened. Some good... more bad than I would prefer. But throughout it all one thing has remained the same. There is a brand I want to build with a mission to support others through as they build their BEST LIFE LIVD! 

Since this is a new blogging platform, I will spend this week's post giving a little background of myself, what the last few years have been like, and what I hope to accomplish with all of this. 

Let's go back to 2018... the last decent year before shit hit the fan. 

I was finishing up my Master's program in secondary education and preparing to start my career as a high school social studies teacher. I had a great experience student teaching and loved connecting with the students. I felt like I had found my calling. 

To make a long story short I will give the bullet points: 

- 2019 - Mother-in-law passes unexpectedly

- 2020 - Grandmother passes away (very complicated relationship = complex grief)

           - Falling out with my sister (grieving the loss of a relationship being rebuilt)

- 2021 - Beloved dog passes away (my emotional support dog that made the grief a  little more bearable) 

- 2022 - Grampa passes away - (this was the hardest one. He was a man that brought peace in a family with A LOT of dysfunction)

- 2023 - Ran my first 1/2 marathon & held my breath for next loss to grieve... 

Thankfully, 2023 became the first year that we didn't experience a loss. However, phone calls after 6:00pm during the week are triggering for us now as that seems to be the time of day when people call with devastating news. 

In 2020 I felt overwhelmed by grief and the unknown life we seemed to be traversing. I wanted to end the year with a purging of the negative to start fresh in the new year (little did I know). I'll share later what I did as it is now a tradition for my husband and I to close out each year. 

I felt strong starting the year 2024 feeling like there was FINALLY some space to move forward. I was optimistic to start the new life after so much death. I built myself a realistic workout plan to get in shape (a long time goal of mine), I was eating well, feeling better. Then something happened in March of 2024... 

An issue with a co-worker that became so triggering I began to spiral in way I haven't experienced in YEARS! I stopped working out, gave up on my 5k training plan, stopped eating healthy, & heard the LOUDEST negative thoughts. I couldn't sleep, my heart rate felt at an all time high, & the smallest things would trigger feelings of anger/frustration/resentment. 

This brings me to where I am today... Thursday, April 18th, on my drive home from work (sometime around 7:30pm) after a 13 hour work day I had an epifery... epiphery? efiphany? Epiphany! That's the word. I had an EPIPHANY!! 

I realized that my struggles, my negative thoughts, my anxiety, my depression was all rooted in a deep, DEEP childhood wound. A belief that my worth, value, success, accomplishments, & all around happiness was less important than others. That I could only be happy or successful if it did not negatively impact someone else, which it often seemed to do, so no happiness, no success for me. 

This realization felt like an unbelievable weight was lifted from my heart. The negative thoughts disappeared. Like the speaker that had been blasting them at full volume finally blew up. My energy shifted from anxious to excited. I repeated to myself multiple times, 

"I am allowed to be happy!"

"I am allowed to feel successful and celebrate my accomplishments!"

"I am not responsible for another person's happiness, only mine!" 

"I have every right to enjoy my BEST LIFE LIVD!!!!" 

So here I am, sharing with each of you that has stayed with me through this long first post. I welcome you to join me on a journey of self-discovery. I hope through this blog and brand that you find yourself and are able to enjoy your BEST LIFE LIVD. 

Sincerely, 

Megan